Have you ever decided to love someone past their fear?
It's not easy, it requires managing your own fear at the same time. Ever noticed how it can feel a little uncomfortable to lean into someone's struggle or pain? In fact, most people want to do the exact opposite and lean out. But the act of loving or leaning in can be empowering for both parties.
Let me develop the idea a little more...
It's in these moments, when someone shows you their fear, that they need the most love. They may worry that they are going to:
-->Let you down (or themselves)
-->Disappoint you (or themselves)
-->Fail you (or themselves)
Basically, that they aren't going to live up to their own potential.
This fear causes us to run away from the people that love us the most, it causes us to hide from them and ourselves, and it does more damage than good.
How do I know this? Because I've done it! And all of the best relationships in my life have loved me past my fear: my mom, my friends, and my family.
They have loved me in moments when I doubted myself. Moments when I pushed them away. Moments when I hurt them with my words. Moments when I let my fear rule me. But in those moments, they expressed (often not in words, but in action):
"Ah, ah, ah, not so fast. I love you. I am here for you. You can't escape me--I won't let you. I will remind you who you are and hold you accountable to that."
This is love. It's powerful, it's long suffering and it speak the truth. It believes in you even when you don't believe in yourself. That's loving past fear.
And this love empowers the person giving it too. It shows that person a reflection of themselves and their own fears. Yet, with strength they hold space for the other person and see past the fear and insecurities someone is throwing in their direction. This kind of love takes courage. And it's only because it has been given to me so much that I am able to return it.
Do I make a good case for modeling this kind of love in our relationships?
And this is the space I try to hold for my clients. I hope you have felt it before and if you are still working with me feel it each time we meet. It's why I have told many clients along the way that they grow me as much as I grow them. It's a symbiotic relationship. We grow together.
So, ask yourself, how can you show this kind of love in your relationships? No matter if it's the people you work with or your family and friends.
Something to works towards, right?
If you're interested in learning how to do this, Schedule a Connect Call today.
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