On accepting the different seasons of life and knowing when it is time to step forward.
Just sitting here on my mother’s deck enjoying the sunshine and the beautiful cross breeze hitting my skin while I ponder the seasons of life. I feel good, maybe there is an ounce of melancholy but mostly there is satisfaction, and maybe some irony, as I think on the last 8 months of my life.
Have you ever had a season in your life that you not only didn’t expect, but really didn’t want to happen? A season that didn’t go as planned, went longer than expected, or didn’t pan out in the way you had hoped? I imagine most of us have been there but what I have learned as I have embraced the continual transitions that life has brought me, is just how unexpected the outcome always seems to be. If you had asked me, even just a month ago, how I would feel as I grew closer to the day I would leave, I might have had a different response.
Yet, here I am, looking back, seeing all the good that has come from this (much longer
than expected) time spent with my mother. I see how it’s benefited both of us individually and our mother/daughter relationship jointly. I learned more patience, gained more grace in understanding the stages of life, have a deeper recognition of my own flaws, and a presence in understanding how to be grateful for everything around me even when it isn’t what I thought I wanted.
These lessons have brought me more satisfaction and to a place of peace in who and where I am in life, however different than I thought it might be. There is liberation in finding contentment in those places that you thought you wanted to be different. Yes, I say ‘you thought’ because generally I have found that the universe brings me to more beneficial places than I could have even imagined and when I accept that I am not in control of the movements of life, I can more holistically embrace the people, experiences, and gifts that enter my stratosphere
Rather than continuing to focus on the way things didn’t go as planned I started to see the beauty in the unexpected process and found myself enjoying this quiet time, this slowing down. Quite honestly, in the moment I didn’t even realize it was there (just ask my best friend who I’d call often complaining that I was lonely). However, when you spend so much time alone you tend to have a lot of time to listen to your own thoughts. I was astounded by the workings of my mind and needed to find some new ways to calm my mind. My nature walks and yoga practice weren’t quite cutting it hence the recent meditation practice that has been life changing for me over this period of time.
I could go on and on about all I’ve learned through this time, but what I really wanted to share with you today is just how interesting my feelings this last month have been. I went from a continual longing to leave to an interesting place of reticence. All my safety and security beliefs kicked in. Do I want to go? Wow, this time was really helpful. Will I have this kind of quiet again if I leave? Will I be able to maintain the balance I have created? Will I be able manifest the things I want for the future? Can I trust myself? Can I trust the process?
Yah, a lot of questions. I know it’s time to go. It was always meant to be a transitional time, but now that I am faced with leaving the safety and security of family, quiet, and isolation it feels, well, a little scary. I have taken so many leaps of faith before but for some reason this one seems bigger. Maybe because I have this innate knowing that it is going to be something altogether different than I’ve ever experienced. I know that I will be expected to step into new forms of commitment that I have been avoiding for years now within my relationships and my location, pieces of my puzzle I know I want but I have allowed to elude me for some time. Ironically, I am relieved that my career and purpose have been establish this past year mainly because it just feels like one thing I don’t need to figure out. What a relief! Honestly, even that is unfolding right before my eyes in new and beautiful ways that I never could have imagined. I just have to allow it in, with openness.
So how does this effect you, we are all constantly going through transitions but now, for most of us, more than ever, as we navigate this complex moment in global history. Most of us have had to let go of many people and things during this time, which has opened up new ways of showing up in the environments we find ourselves in. If you are anything like me and my nomadic nature, it probably hasn’t even unfolded fully and could take some time for aspects of your next season to become clear. This is when it takes courage to step into the unknown and to let go of the things that we hold on to with all our strength because they are what we know best and they feel safe.
Now is the time to step fully into the unknown and to trust yourself that you can maneuver the twists and turns that will inevitably come your way. You have what it takes to navigate this time and you can let go of those elements you think are holding you up and keeping you safe. They may not be serving you anymore. What if they are holding you back from fully embracing this new season?
Step in. I will step in with you, after all I am doing it right now in my own life, again.
Let’s do this together—after years of taking these bold steps let me support you as you step into a new season. Let’s Connect.
I will leave you with, what may be, my favorite meditation from Melody Beattie’s Journey to the Heart collection which I share in my Monday Morning Meditation series on Instagram each week--follow me here.
Leave When It’s Time to Go
It’s time to pick up, pack up, and leave.
You knew you wouldn’t be in this situation in this place with these people forever. Trust the rhythms and cycles of life. Take responsibility for yourself within each cycle. Take responsibility for yourself as each cycle ends and a new one begins.
You don’t have to hold onto messengers after they’ve delivered the message in your life, or escorts after they’ve taken you where you were trying to go. You don’t have to stay in a classroom after you’ve learned the lessons and finished that course.
Open your heart. Thank the people, places, and things that have helped create your world, shape you, form your experiences. Then pick up, pack up, and leave. Say good-bye with love and gratitude in your heart
And go on down the road.